Dealing with a Philipine Government Agency from Scratch

In my lifetime, I have continuously been dealing with government agencies with or without a connection. In most cases, 90% were failures. And in some cases, I succeed. In the 10% case I succeeded, here are some tips I learned:

1. Visit or call office branch /agency.
2. Try asking from their own personnel whom to address (OIC) your formal letter. In this case, be patient (warned). Many are hired without a hint of what they are or what their role is in that office, in most probability they will not know what you are talking about and will pass you to an average of 3-7 other personnel before getting the correct answer.
3. Get the complete name, position, office address, and contact number of the OIC.
4. Make a formal letter introducing your organization, purpose, and rationale.
5. Submit the letter to the above mentioned office, with your own copy. Let the receiver print his/her name, signature, date received, and contact number. Inform him/her that you shall be making a follow-up.
6. In case the personnel directs you to the OIC, then go ahead and give your letter. Answer his/her inquiry honestly, emphasizing the "good favor" they will be doing.
7. In case of an "un-sure" or for follow-up answer, get his direct line or name of secretary and the date / time it would be best to follow-up.
8. Make your follow-up on the agreed date and time. In case you won't be able to talk to the OIC, get the name and position of the one who answered your call and leave a message about your purpose as well as your intention to call again to GET the answer - explicitly request or command the ijeet to take down your message and give it to the officer. Make your voice as if you are a taxpayer and providing for their salaries, because you are a tax payer and providing the salaries of the president down to the first gentleman (darn!).
8. Since it is a government agency, you are expected to make the follow-up (repeatedly) until your patience ran out. If it has ran (or is it run?) out, you have the right to raise your voice and demand for the ijeets you listed down whom you gave your message to. Harass them.
9. In the instance your proposal / request was turned down, shout invectives and cuss. Its the least way to get even.
10. Last warning: in the BIR hotline, most of the above does not work. Cuss them instantly!