Un-branded

Here are several juicy quotes from one Ms. Malu Fernandez which was an article in a glossy.

“…I forgot that the hub was in Dubai and the majority of the OFWs (overseas Filipino workers) were stationed there. The duty-free shop was overrun with Filipino workers selling cellphones and perfume. Meanwhile, I wanted to slash my wrist at the thought of being trapped in a plane with all of them.”

“…While I was on the plane (where the seats were so small I had bruises on my legs), my only consolation was the entertainment on the small flat screen in front of me. But it was busted…” (dumb line, don’t you have an editor? Or you simply want Emirates to make up with you? I’d ban you a thousand kilometres if I were a voice at Emirates). “…dozed off to the sounds of gum chewing and endless yelling of “HOY! Kumusta ka na? At taga saan ka? Domestic helper ka rin ba?”... I thought I had died and God had sent me to my very own private hell.” Uhm, Satan for you must be VERY kind.

"On my way back, I had to bravely take the economy flight once more. (If I could afford to brag about a genuine fake Louis Vuitton from China, I would not have second thoughts of buying me an additional ticket to avoid people that could make me think about slashing my wrist! And I hope reader you get it the first time!) This time I had already resigned myself to being trapped like a sardine can with all these OFWs smelling of AXE and Charlie cologne while my Jo Malone evaporated into thin air."


Ms. Fernandez is a walking advertorial who had it in her head that she has what it takes to flash global brands while working (oh, OK, travelling. as I understand, she is one of the few which, downsizing publishers freeload on). In the article alone (June 2007) she did not waste opportunities as she enumerates Baygon (a brand that means mosquitoes and cockhroaches, eeeech!), Holiday Inn (her minimum travel requirement. sheesh, expensive nga!. my minimum travel requirement is a glass of drinking water!), Adidas (if a company meant fitness, and I was brand manager, I would not be caught being used, much more plugged by a pig), Havaianas (give me Islander any time!), Discovery Shores (Boracay is already over-exploited before Discovery Shores shored in the island! So, what’s with discovery Columbus?), Emirates (my husband is awed how Jahal-requiring carriers let a live pig in their plane!), Ledra Marriott hotel, Louis Vuitton, Ruby Tuesday, Chili's, CNN, Axe, Charlie (she sure knows her local brands, eh! If I had been limited to using Estee Lauders, Calvin Kleins, Paloma Picassos, et al, I would not know what Axe is!), Jo Malone.

If newspaper lifestyle and glossy magazine editors nowadays have to settle to write-ups like this, I now put up my chin for not choosing the local mainstream media to work with.

I have never known Filipino mediapeople could stoop this low, and squalidly crawl like the mad woman in "Yellow Wallpaper" (Charlotte P. Gilman's).

This made me recall of an experience way back in mid 1990s when I had a short gig at ABS-CBN's talent Center and had to write about Star Circle Batch 2. While interviewing Diether Ocampo, I asked what his television appearances were, and he enumerated promptly.

When I asked what specific television station these shows appear, he sneered at me, "Dito ka nagta-trabaho, hindi mo alam?" meaning (ei, as if naga-English lahat ng readers ko ah!) "You work here and you don't have an idea?"

I replied, "I don't watch tv."

What I am trying to point out is that if one person claims to exist in a world she calls HER OWN, then, she should not even have the slightest idea another world exists! OKAY? Ulit: Sa simpleng salita, kung nabuhay kang Jo Malone at mas mahal pa ang pabango mo, would you know what Axe cologne is?

Anyway, I chanced upon the issue on Ms. Fernandez' article via salbahe.net

Mr. Manuel L. Quezon III commented "I’m not for firing people on the basis of what they write."

But the articles (including one that appeared in manila Standard I guess) obviously pointed out how the publishers and the editors were being toyed on by a "cursi" (aaaaaaargh!) Mala Malu (in Mr. Quezon's words). It only means the editors and publishers would rather freeload on a thrash-writing cursi than have a quality contribution from more deserving writers. Advertorials or even attracting advertisements this way is...

Pathetic.

I know of one major local media network (feeling international)who is so fond of freeloading on its own fat (sa Tagalog, nagsarili, o nagluto sa sariling mantika, and freak out, you go figure what I mean!) when in fact, it is following the footsteps of Enron.

And back to Mala Malu, nais kong ipaabot sa mga kapwa ko Pilipino na nasilihan at naantig ng kanyang pakiramdam, we can only speculate. Baka sa ganoong paraan lang nakakakuha ng atensyon si Mala Malu.

Maswerte tayo, di natin kelangang matutong mag-spelling ng mamahaling brand ng bag at magpakahirap magkaroon nung mga brands na gusto niya (o nilang) i-promote. Why, I feel 103 years old, pero laking pasasalamat ko na at me gusto pa ring makipag-date sa 'kin kahit Johnson's baby cologne lang kaya kong bilhin! At para kay Ms. Malu, yebba babe, para sa 'yo talaga 'yang pic ko (sa taas)! Taken a few minutes ago. No brands to brag. No need.

Kung ipagpipilitan mong journalist ka, AYOKO NANG MAGING JOURNALIST!

Ano kamo ulit? You're just being true to yourself? E di sana, naglaslas ka na nga nung time na 'yon... Malay mo, maunahan ka nung mga nag-send sa 'yo ng death threat?