Online Nasty, Not Me

So you'd know I pale in kindness compared to these online hustlers of which could be helpful to real humans like ... us.

Send him a reservation here for an eternity of fire and gnashing of teeth (if he's not using dentures). In fact, you may want to save a space for yourself, too.


Then, there are these too, honest cards it could really help release pent-up emotions... Well, currently, the supplier run out of stock or something, but so you'll have an idea...


Then, some people really would need some help (another form of release, in case you love to hate and getting even) although it's not really such a bad idea if you wanna try it yourself, for $1.85.


You're welcome, always!

Codename: Asero Tips from the Kamikaze Warrior

(Source: iGMA.tv)
I didn't mind television thrash so much, except for some witty ads like that Bioessence or something shampoo commercial of un-photoshopped man and his hair.

And the Robin Padilla/Angel Locsin tandem Asian Treasures has become forgivable because of this initial mediocrity.

It's not the celebrity talents. There are simply a lot of misguided elements lifted or taken from a lot of spy movies (or tv series--- The A Team --- to be specific) as well as characterization that makes it sablay to the ultimatum.

Of course I am exaggerating. Neither am I an expert on espionage, but I was a spy-kamikaze in my other life, so, I am not here to argue. Just an assassin out to liquidate whatever comes my way on the Asero blah.

The opening. The establishing into using disierto and Arabs is downright stupid and discriminatory. A preview of those made-in-China scorpion toys. Spies NEVER stand out wherever they are. They blend with the sand in the desert, even assuming poisonous arachnids or camels if need be. Get producers?

Sure we've had loads of Hollywood terrorist movies predicting 9-1-1 and even the impending US vs. Iran war (which even obscenely high paid Homeland Security - US of course - observers base their analysis) involving as always our Muslim brothers, but people, we're never really sure who's behind these paid suicide bombers, or if Osama bin Laden is actually an Arab. Because back here in the Philippines, fellow writers, we also have suicide assassins who will kill vocal journalists for only five thousand pesos (yeah, that cheap you need not go far for character).

Then, that tube. We've seen that elsewhere, bummer. It was in a Jacky Chan movie.

Even Janno Gibbs who's a natural dork has become uncomfortable in his role I can't believe I'd see a trace of embarrassment on his face when finally joined by Grecko (Richard Gutierrez' character) in that intro.

Then Bitoy. We all like Bitoy. But not this time. Is he being depicted as a cross between the oldie in Back to the Future and a modern-day IT geek?

He should have been better packaged as the clean-cut, goggles-wearing, old, plain, real-life Beethoven Bunagan. Because formerly, we had inventors and scientists who hermit themselves in their laboratories, while our present-day ITs splurge on the wonders that technology brings them, including food, vanity sets, and all the materialism they could put their fingers into (even just by hacking).

What I am trying to say is that production involves research and espionage is about blending and never having to be obvious. The first episode blasted of "glaringly obvious" if there ever was a phrase. It was simply a crime.

Customer Service

Customer Service, in its early inception was a brilliant offshoot of TQM with customer satisfaction as the goal. This makes prices of products and services go a notch higher than the usual. Then, customer satisfaction has evolved to after-sales services that have the poor consumer bombarded with unsolicited letters, calls and emails asking, probing, and forcing them to go and waste more money about their products. Through this line, CSR or customer service representatives were created. They run the gamut of sales representatives to technical experts that tells you where the letter "Q" in your keyboard is and that you need to plug in an electrical outlet a gadget before its "on" button lights up, or anything to that effect... and yeah, the spammers... they are also called CSR.

Owing to its acceptance and popularity, this customer service line has created a whole new spectrum of service and poured in billions of dollars in low-labor-cost, English-speaking third world countries like India and the Philippines. In fact, an agent is screened by having her or him say a couple of lines in English. If you happen to pronounce the words correctly, you're hired and would start to get paid with about $235 monthly. Provincial rates are lower, though, if they ever get paid regularly at all. So, in reality, it does not really matter if the dork hired was a dean's lister or a dumb pa-sosi (social climber in Philippine lingo) as long as the words were pronounced properly, or convincingly.

In the Philippines, job turn-over is fast in call centers as these CSRs burn out. It is because half of customers calling were either totally innocent about the product or service they have bought, or too smart to accept they have been duped. Both kind of customers could take the sanity away from the CSR in a matter of minutes. But behind those perfect-sounding English, the customer gets:

- wrong answer (99% of the time based on personal experience)
- imperfect grammar, if ever discernible at all.
- scripted message
- scripted message repeated again and again until the customer gets the hint and slams the phone to smithereens
- a nervous wreck (both ends - the CSR and the customer)
- a relay message "Yes ma'am/sir I will inform the people concerned about this."
- a message informing the customer to visit the nearest CSR in the area (after being told to call the CSR hotline)
- worsened headache
- madness.

So, if one studies closely the chain, there only is an added layer between the customer and their "concerned" manufacturer/ service provider: a buffer, a shock absorber, a barf bag.

The better of which one screws more, faster, then probably disappear...
-end-

Sorry to pester you once again about Customer Service. I have just called this (632)-8542100 CSR hotline and it's Air 21 who answered when I had a shipment placed through a DHL outlet. I was expecting the LBC-24 hours delivery type which the CSR (sales clerk) assured me... Only to find out I was given the 2-working days type of delivery, which means that the one I shipped around 9 AM in June 19 Thursday shall be delivered either on Monday or Tuesday. So much for express delivery.

Monkeys

there are some interesting lines in here... i like most about monkeys paying other monkeys to listen to them... and monkeys giving a hoot about trophies and accolades... or giving a hoot about Nietzsche (did I ever spell it right the first time???) when he's just another monkey...and drawing imaginary lines and numbers... i hate numbers.

Beer at McDonald's

If it had been a lone experience, I would not have bothered and simply sacrificed a few bucks for the foul-tasting Del Monte pineapple juice that McDonald's serve. It is not exactly foul. Just it does not taste like Del Monte's canned pineapple juices as well as other pineapple juices one drinks at any other fast food chain. It tastes like beer. Fermented.

So that when the second time I was served in another outlet where I tasted it the second time, I approached one of their store managers and asked whether they were checking how their juice tastes. "Because your pineapple juice tastes like beer," I said.

The manager, of course, as I expected, apologized and asked to serve me another drink. So, there, I took iced tea. It tasted fine with me.

I pro'bbly won't have returned the beer-tasting pineapple juice if it had occurred about a decade ago... when I was a beer connoisseur-wannabe. Sort of. I simply want to have a belly back then. I was so slim I could eat a pail of trans-fat and carbo-loaded food for weeks without effect on my body built and weight. And the passion to get "stout" had me sought various kinds of beer brands, and hang out at Brew Bros (now defunct, of the Padis Group) and pouring on beer books authored by the likes of Alan Eames (I had a signed book as well as authentic written articles from the Indiana Jones of beer), Michael Jackson, among others... still to no avail.

Anyway, while trying to enjoy the meal, the manager approached me and explained their pineapple juice tastes fine (meaning I was mistaken). I smiled a lazy, wicked grin and said, "Wanna bet?" and went on, "Let's go out and buy a Del Monte pineapple and beer over at 7-11 and let us compare their tastes...on me..."

It must have been my wicked, nasty grin which made him back-out amicably. He let out a little laugh and said it was not necessary. I suggested they settle the matter with Del Monte. Because today, what replaced my beer is pineapple juice. I have to stop my belly from exploding...

Mahal

An insignia, or replica, or however you may call it, of our flag (Red white & blue, stars over you...) over imposed with the words "Pilipinas kong Mahal" and the word "mahal" underlined" is scattered all over the metro. Some suspect it has got to do with june 12. Am not really sure what June 12 is. I don't express my nationalism and pride in terms of remembering celebrations like national flag day, or whatever-national day.

I find it double-entendre... If it's from government offices, whoever had it approved for printing is a genius. He had his message sent. If it was from protest groups, they must be well-oiled, if y'know-wat-eye-meen.




A couple of months back, I uttered the words, blogged about it as we attempt to take the first steps to get out of this country...

I love this country and its people. Except its government system and the people in it... It's as simple as that. I wrote it once and I will do it again: If I had a choice, I don't want to leave. In fact, I have chosen not to, even if I am not a moneyed elite who could start a business with a click of a finger to survive in this garbage jungle, even if I have no politician for a back-up for whatever ambition I might be aspiring (have you tasted your own barf?) (Wow, I must be a hero...lol). The way its going, we who are left in the country have become heroes in our own right...

Reminds me more than a decade back when visiting at Fort Santiago, classmate-officemate barkada Eynah asked me where (or how?) might I have been have I dwelt during the Spanish era. She had the romantic Kapitan Tiago feasts in her mind... like this...

But I answered, pointing at the tunnels, "I would be there... probably a prisoner."


And she retorted with a laugh, "How consistent!"

I still don't know why Ninoy Aquino said it... "The Filipino is worth dying for..." but I'd take him for national hero any time if only for those words.